so super bowl XLIV is over and has been over for a few weeks now. yet, i still believe a sittin-down-talkin-to is in order. hey, if mark schlereth and trey wingo can still be put on the hot/cold seat (depending on whoever is sponsoring it that week) about whether reggie wayne missed his route or if tracy porter jumped it, i can talk about the halftime show. the last halftime show anyone really remembers was "nipple-gate"(seen here -> http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=39F_gVLh4fo, anyone brave enough to click on a link that brings you to a video with the description "nipplegate"?). in the spirit of nicknaming i have colloquially tagged this years' show as well:
as in, who the hell decided to put (half of) the who on the biggest stage in american tv history making hordes of toddlers ask their parents why grandpa is singing at the super bowl? there are an unbelievable amount of things obtusely wrong with choosing (half of) the who as the super bowl halftime act and in the spirit of my science background, and because of the sheer quantity of wrongness, the data will be presented in list form:
the who are from london, england. london, ENGLAND. on the whole, maybe some don't like to admit it, the super bowl is THE american cultural tradition. everyone is at least aware of it's existence in the upcoming sunday. approximately 1/3 of the country saw at least a part of the super bowl. whether you get off the football bandwagon by saying "i only watch it for the commercials" or your sipping a few brews out of your beer helment, you are still taking part in americana and (half of) the who are not in the american canon of tradition. same thing goes for the rolling stones in super bowl XL. honestly, it pains me to say it but i would rather see toby keith on the super bowl stage than (half of) the who. at least he would put a boot in someone's ass.
2. cbs subliminal advertising
i work with two women who are not fans of the who. when i came into work on monday, puzzlingly, one of my co-workers mentioned that (half of) the who played all her favorites... csi: miami, csi: las vegas, and csi: new york. i felt slighted. it was horribly done subliminal messaging. it made yvan eht nioj (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMZcz7cvLe8) look convincing. cbs has cheapened three stadium speaker blasting anthems to ditties akin to the brady bunch theme. no cbs, i will not drink the kool-aid that is csi even with your silly cross-marketing campaign. rumor has it that that kool-aid will convince you an entomologist is the most intuitive person on the planet... stay away.
3. stage distraction
everyone i have brought this subject up to usually says something along the lines of "yeah they were bad, but the stage was cool!" UNACCEPTABLE! just another distraction. you know when you ask your friend if a girl is cute and he/she says "yeah, she's nice" you immediately know she is not good looking and borderline crazy because all they could come up with to describe this person is that they are "nice." similarly, the who's stage was their "niceness" but their performance was still as bad as a night with lorena bobbit...... go ahead, look her up.
4. fossils are not dinosaurs
it's a largely accepted pretense that the who's "the kids are alright" film is the best chronicling of the who's best performances. every member is there. daltrey, townshend, entwistle, and moon. both the powerslide and windmill arm-swing were brought to the masses by this movie. it is epic and bombastic... the way the who should be remembered.
instead we get cbs trying to convince us that the two geriatrics on the stage have that same fire. "see, it's the who you love... just 35 years later." roger daltrey's voice sounded like Jack Klompus from Seinfeld ("of course I've driven a cadillac"). they looked so old i was honestly concerned that pete townshend's arm was going to tangentially fly off and knock daltrey unconscious. in fact, that would have been a waaaay better halftime show.
in conclusion, here are some important questions to consider instead of dwelling on the horrible performance. do you think that they got AARP benefits for performing? is it offensive or politically incorrect that two OLD people were performing in Florida? did they go to old country buffet after? is cbs just trying to cement their status as THE senior channel? did the ambulance at the stadium for football accidents have a stretcher ready for (half of) the who?
hopefully cbs learned it's lesson this time but my bet is that we will get fooled again with another shell of a once great musicians. who knows, maybe elvis, buddy holly or benny goodman might be up for the gig.